I am part of a small group of lovely ladies that run their own businesses and we support each other and help with advice etc.
We get together once a month (ish) and last night we went out for dinner for my birthday. We went to a fabulous restaurant down on Newcastle’s Quayside called Khai Khai. If you’re ever in my city I would highly recommend you visit.
I also loved it that they had some yummy mocktails and I got this one with sarsaparilla, which was just gorgeous.
One of the things that I love about this group is that none of us drink alcohol, each of us for different reasons, but we are all in agreement about what a waste of time and life it is. During our time together we were talking about alcohol and those crucial early days and I said the thing I am ALWAYS saying which is:
“If you’re not an alcoholic the physical act of giving up alcohol is pretty easy and straightforward: it’s the work you need to do on your mindset is where the work and challenge is.”
IT’S EASIER THAN YOU THINK
Now, let me qualify that. The majority of women in the membership group drink, on average, a bottle of wine a night. For some it’s less but still troublesome for them. If you are drinking that amount of alcohol, in my experience, when you stop you will suffer about 7 to 10 days of discomfort, lethargy and headaches which feels like a bit of a bad cold. After that time your body has detoxed the alcohol and you will be feeling much better. Obviously you need to check in with your doctor if you have any concerns. You can read about the timeline of healing here.
After that time you will have the clarity of mind and energy to start the work on reframing and redirecting your mind and your relationship with alcohol. This work is crucial if you are to succeed.
If you have been trying to give up drinking for a while and had a few stops and starts, it’s fairly unlikely that you will suddenly, one day, become spontaneously sober. Spontaneous sobriety describes how you just wake up one day and BOOM!, you know you’ll never drink again.
Of course, you could reach your ‘moment’ and that could be your last day one and you could achieve spontaneous sobriety and never look back. However, it’s more likely that if you’ve had a few false starts then even if you have that ‘moment’ you may not be confident that you will be able to stay sober in the long term.
It’s more likely that, as you are doing at the moment, there will be a bit of back and forth and eventually, with the right amount of focus, changed thinking and working on your habits, your last day one will arrive.
If you had been able to just become spontaneously sober you wouldn’t need Sobersistas or any other support or information, and that’s why you’re here.
The challenge is in how you figure out what needs to be done and find your way to do it consistently.
This is often where the problems arise. Finding a way to be consistent in journaling, meditating, listening to and reading inspiring material, doing course work and changing your habits can be the mountain you just can’t climb when alcohol is fuzzing up your beautiful brain.
There is no one solution. What is going to work for you may not work for anyone else. HOWEVER, there is definitely one thing that will stop you from getting and staying sober and that is DOING NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING.
You MUST do some work. You MUST do something.
It’s not possible to get successfully sober by just thinking about the fact that you need to stop. Action must follow.
Think about it this way. I read this in Ask And It Is Given and it works just as well for giving up alcohol as it does for manifesting.
If you wanted to travel to a city 300 miles away from where you live you will never get there if you don’t move in the direction of your desired location. If you stand still where you are, thinking about the fact that you need to get there, but not actually moving in that direction, you are never going to get there.
If, however, you take one step forward, no matter how small, you will be one step closer to your desired destination.
It’s the same with sobriety.
Just imagine if you spent as little as 10 minutes every day thinking about a way to stay sober today that would make you feel good about yourself. What would that be?
Would it be watching a video? Planning for the weekend? Listening to a podcast? Journaling your thoughts about how excited you are about your sober future? Doing some meditation?
With only 10 minutes of focus a day where you think positively about your sober future and how you can achieve it, you are rewiring your brain to see alcohol differently.
Wouldn’t it be better to see it as the unhelpful harming substance that is robbing you of the best years of your life? Or as that stuff you need to cope with the stresses of your life?
‘Doing the work’ works. Not doing the work will keep you exactly where you are right now.
This is not a criticism, it’s just true. You can’t achieve spontaneous sobriety by going to bed tonight and hoping tomorrow morning your moment will come. In all honesty, it might. Tomorrow morning might just be your moment but there are no guarantees.
However, if you spend some time every day working on some aspect of your sobriety and your mindset you are definitely guaranteed that you will make some progress, no matter how small.
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
What one thing that you could do for the next 10 days that would give you a break from alcohol? Even taking a 10 day break from drinking will show you just how quickly your energy returns and how much better you feel.
Here are six things you can do that will take approximately 10 minutes:
- Join us in our private membership group. It will take 10 minutes to sign up.
- Book a 20 minute Discovery Call with me to see if coaching is for you (I know that’s 20 minutes but it would be worth it!).
- Buy that book you’ve been meaning to buy.
- 10 minutes of meditation.
- Set an alarm for 10 minutes and answer this journal prompt: “I want to stop drinking so that I can...”
- Take 10 minutes to plan a lovely sober weekend.
What action are you going to take to help you take one step closer to your desired destination?